Depression and faith

I can honestly say knowing God has saved me - in more ways than one 
He has got me through this far and he still keeps me going. He is getting me through this depression. 
Getting through it is not dignified, by no means graceful, smooth, and having faith does not make you immune to illnesses, mistakes and sin. But every time I get to the end of my tether, when I hit the bottom, I hit the rock. He is the reason I'm alive. I love the song 'majesty' - 'I'm empty handed but alive in your hands'. Getting through depression, is more like stumbling around in the dark, even with the light of the world inside me, there's the depression battling against it, like CO2 gas - starving the light of oxygen. It's all-consuming, suffocating, and by myself I can't overcome it. 'Let go and let God' is hard, but sometimes is the only thing I can do. I need to do that a lot more, cos when I do, I feel so much more peaceful, and sometimes even positive. Just lying in my father's arms.
Fed up with being in here. VERY. They put an ng tube in me this morning - I agreed cos I wasn't really awake, nd thought it might be easier to have food in there, than eating it... but even when it was properly in place, guidewire out etc, it was still making me gag and feel sick, cos it was pressing against the back of my throat. Wondering if it was so uncomfortable cos of the corkscrew oesophagus, the would've been moving it all over the place whenever I swallowed. (the smooth muscles in my oesophagus don't contract evenly, makes it virtually impossible to swallow bread and stodgy stuff.) 
But going downstairs with Mum in a bit to try n drink a hot chocolate. Matter over mind. Just drink it! :/ 
Wish me luck x