Illness, faith, healing (or lack of!) .... and still loved

Feeling calmer now. 
I haven't done a lot today, had a lie in, did some exercise, got up and stuff, then played some piano and guitar, then went to church. (Note: there is a lot of content in here about my faith. This is a blog about me and my life, and my faith is a huge part of that, I make no apologies for the content) Was looking forward to church, knew I needed to be filled with God again. 
Got there, and just.... bleh. Felt flat. Tired. Sat down through the worship only thinking about how cold I was and whether I could just go home! But Listened to the talk, (which I didn't think was going to be relevant to me at all)... Yet God spoke. 
I have struggled so much with the fact that I've been ill for so long, God has the power to heal me, I've asked him to do so, and been prayed for many many times, but it hasn't happened. I'm STILL ill. Don't I have enough faith? I asked. Well, I may not have a great deal, but I do really believe God can heal me. So I had unconsciously concluded that God couldn't love me cos he hadn't healed me. He is just watching me suffer. 
In this advanced society we need answers for everything, I am the worst for it. I need to understand everything. Jesus calls us to be humble like a child, (Matthew 18:4) e.g. trusting in the Father even when we do not understand. God also says in Isaiah 55:9 That "just as the heavens are high above the earth, so my ways and thoughts are above yours." We don't like being told we're below someone, but this is the God of the universe, I think it's fair to say he has more insight and thoughts and ways we cannot understand, and may never understand in this lifetime.
Basically God said, "I still love you" even though you're broken and have not been healed. I don't understand why I'm like this, I'm just clinging to the truth that God loves me. I feel more peaceful this evening. My mind is still in turmoil (planning how many calories I'm going to be allowed next week and how much of each sort of exercise I have to do, what weight I need to be by the end of the week) but my spirit feels peaceful.