For starters, they didn't have a single plate big enough to fit my whole spine on in their x-ray room. He wanted the growth plate at the top of my pelvis to be on it (to prove that I'd stopped growing.... did he LOOK at my Date of Birth? I'm 22 for goodness sake!!!) and got about 7 verebrae up from there... this basically showed the very start of the curve, it went off the page, off the xray entirely.
Measurements are quite important. anything over 40 degrees if causing enough problems 'qualifies' for surgery. Mine went from 30 to 35 degrees aged 14-15... it asn't been measured since.... he measured like the first 3 affected vertbebrae... and said it's 24 degrees, won't cause me any pain, if i'm in pain it's nothing to with with my spine being twisted.
After a little bit of pushing well.. what am I am meant to do about the pain? he just said it's not your scoliosis. I'll write to your GP, I don't need to see you again.
So.. I have an appointment tomorrow with my GP cos I need to move.. ugh... NHS shake ups. I so wish I had the money to have private healthcare!!
But I need to persuade him to sent me to the scoliosis specialists in Frenchay, not to one of Crawshaw's buddies in the GRH. I hope he believes me with the pain etc and the visual worsening... I can't wear my usual clothes (not cos I've put on weight, I weigh less than I did then!) cos visually, my left hip sticks out a flippin mile. No clothes bloody fit. I have enough problems with finding clothes anyway. please please please someone either make it not hurt or fix it! PLEASE!!!! ;(
Anyway. Had a good cry on the way home then went down the A46 to ikea - beautiful scenery, (on the A46 not in IKEA :P) took some photos - just uploading them now :) bought a few little frames etc. Going to do a little fiddling tonight on photoshop, and tomorrow hopefully I'll have enough energy and not be shaking so I can do some silversmithing :D might make something out of silver clay... if I can find the proper tools. (or ones that will do at least!!)
My friend has made some beautiful pendants out of polymer clay... I've never been a fan really... reminded of fimo that I did when I was a kid... but I might look into it a bit... I fancy doing something not in metal for a change, something very different, or maybe something to make up elements combined with silver... who knows... I might buy some and have a play... hopefully it's not as expensive as silver clay!
hehe :D
Anyways oh my shop is... : http://folksy.com/shops/MorningStarDesigns
The jewellery was made a while ago, moved onto quite different things now, so do keep checking the page, or 'like' it on fb :) I'm trying to spread the shop address as far and wide as possible, if you go onto the page and click 'share' and share it with your friends that would be AMAZING :) :)
My fb page is: https://www.facebook.com/morningstardesigns.stroud
Cheers everyone :) night all xx
ps. I've noticed a lot of people are having a hard time recently, just keep swimming.. just keep swimming just keep swimming...
My dreams seem SO far off it's laughable that I'll ever achieve them. But it's what I want to do. And if you know me really really well, you will know that once I've fully set my mind on something I WILL DO IT. No matter what it takes. I'm just one of those people.
I'm just trying to get out more... I just HATE public transport... by I've walked to the bus stop, got off in Stroud and walked along to Star Anise I'm in a lot of pain and so so tired. (That's a good day... on a bad day I will be stuck in bed all day.) On an average day, it's walk short distances, wheel chair longer, or like if I'm going out in the evening, I know I can't walk anywhere in the morning... but found some really helpful articles on the scoliosis website about daily living skills to help minimise pain. (oh yeh the 'specialist' also said scoliosis is NOT painful.)
Anyways it's late... I can't sleep again, My photos have just downloaded, and I'm waiting for things to scan in, but when that's done I will try n force myself to go to sleep!!
To all those having a tough time - keep going - I don't know what people believe, but I believe I'm still here... and there's a reason. God's not finished with me yet!
hehe
Waffling again... sorry...
Night night
XX
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ReplyDeleteJust read your post with interest... I am a (baby) doctor. I can completely relate to some of your experiences (both of medical care and mental illness. You're such a good writer - have you thought about writing down exactly what you want to express to your doctors before you see them? I've got an appointment with a new doctor this morning (yes, doctors can be patients too!), and I've written two pages explaining about my background, the way my illness affects me, and the sort of help I am hoping to get. It might not make a difference, we'll see, but it's a start!
ReplyDeletewww.bipolarcakeaddict.blogspot.co.uk
hi :) Thanks for reading! sorry about all the typo's... it was late! :s Yeh, I've tried writing stuff down... but I'm normally too scared to say it, or I say it and may as well've been talking in jibberish - it's like they blank what I say.. very annoying. I'll keep on trying to write stuff down though, it does help a bit :)
ReplyDeleteBefore I got ill I was planning on studying medicine - I still want to.. one day... !